You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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