found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
