Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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