glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
