Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
