Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
