giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
