I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
