Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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