I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
