its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
