She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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