I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
