How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
