his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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