she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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