Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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