a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
