so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
