I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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