She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
