I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
