A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
