she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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