The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
