Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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