about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This is the high leading the old right now
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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