just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
