guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
