So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
