I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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