You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
