fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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