There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
