ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
