I wannas sexs uuuuu
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
