dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
