we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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