I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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