this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
this boner is exhausting
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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