i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
