Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
