There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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