My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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