Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You were trust falling into bushes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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