just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
