She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize