Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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