alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
