I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
