Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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