arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
